Exclusive: Google Fire and Google Wheel Launched
It seems we just can’t get enough of Google these days. Yesterday’s news that Google had hired a new employee – and acquired some early stage technology as a result – generated a crazy amount of buzz. It seemed lost on most people that displaying snippets of web pages has been going on for some time – see Ask’s Smart Answers or Binoculars – or that companies such as Q-Phrase claim to have developed similar technology way before Orion was conceived. Still, if it’s Google, it has to be good right? Even if it’s not unique. So on that note…
We wanted to let our readers know about two new products being launched by Google later this week. Hold on to your hats folks, this stuff is incredible.
1. Google Fire – Google has hired Mr. Nee Anderthal a student out of Bedrock College who has spent the last 6 months developing a very hot, and amazingly colored, element that we think will revolutionize the way we do business. As an analyst for Flint & Stone said, “we think Google Fire will change the way the world collects, organizes and cooks food”.
2. Google Wheel – Is your life a little, shall we say, square? Launching this week is Google Wheel, a new technology that will enhance how we get from one location to another. Unlike other spherical objects that have been around for centuries, Google Wheel utilizes advanced rotation algorithms to ensure the smoothest of rides. Google Wheel will launch in beta, which means it will only work with certain types of vehicles and may crash a lot. We had planned on linking to the Google Wheel download page, but it had been taken down (due to unexpected pre-launch demand) and replaced with page where you can enter your email address to be notified once it becomes available (although we hear you can pick them up on eBay for around $100).
So there you go, it’s going to be a big week and I’m sure everyone will be clamoring to get the inside scoop. In light of these announcements, we expect Google’s stock to hit $1 million a share, so get those orders in before the market opens.
[Oh the joy of waking up in a mischievous mood]