Dear Everyone Who Shopped Online Last Monday,
Thank you. Thank you for hearing my plea. Thank you for vindicating me.
Thank you for making Monday, December 10, the biggest shopping day on record (y’know, so far). With spending of $881 million, it far outclasses this year’s “Cyber Monday” ($733M) and the record-breaking-random-Thursday boom ($803M), with an almost $80 million edge. That’s not to mention a 33% increase over the same Monday last year, which only saw $661 million.
I’ve mentioned before (and even last year) that the biggest online shopping day has long been the second Monday in December. But finally this year, it was so big that it has been declared it the newest shopping holiday: “Green Monday.”
But, um, why? Is this like the whole “Greenland” thing? Because there was plenty enough snow on the ground. And frankly, calling something “green” as an allusion to money when probably 99.9% of the payments made were with credit cards or online checks just doesn’t make sense.
How about this: we call the Monday after Thanksgiving, “the Monday after Thanksgiving,” and the second Monday in December, “the second Monday in December.” Or “the biggest online shopping day of the year.” Because I really hate the names “Cyber Monday” and “Green Monday.” I could live with Black Monday, maybe, but only if we used it for the right Monday.
Love,
Jordan











