By Neal Rodriguez
Let me guess: all you submit is stories written by you and published on your own website to digg.com; you get 3, 4 diggs on average; 11 if it’s a good story with a hot title. Don’t bother going through all the work of building a reputable account. The following will almost guarantee you’ll never see the front page of digg.com:
1. Make no friends:
This way your stories, although worthy of being on the front page, will gain no traction – 50 to 60 diggs – to get the attention that will allow the rest of the community to see how good it is and vote it to the front page;
2. Don’t digg anybody else’s stories:
No one will recognize your account because you will never be seen in a story’s “Who Dugg it or Blogged it” tab; nobody will reciprocate diggs; nor will many users befriend you.
3. Don’t upload a picture for your avatar:
Keep the grayed out avatar that looks like a rough sketch for a Marvel character. Your profile wont stand out even if you digg on other people’s stories.
4. Submit stories on how to get paid to take surveys:
You will get buried; and unlike the metaverse, on digg, there is no Second Life.
5. Strictly submit ads or press releases from your website:
Remember, always be closing. Put a call to action in the headline: “Buy Widgets @ 50% off MSRP Here!” And instill a sense of urgency in the description: “Act now! Offer ends May 31st or while supplies last.”
6. IM diggers solely for the purpose of having them digg your story:
Don’t even say “Hi.” Just IM a direct link to the story to every IM address you could find and be done with it; hold up, that may just work.
7. Submit a story on how much you love George Bush:
Show a picture of that new Huffy with the banana seat you could now afford with the stimulus package. Write on the great job he’s done for the country, and describe how well-spoken he is; cite some of his articulately selected quotes.
8. Don’t submit anything newsworthy from a reputable source:
Stay away from sites like Arsetechnica.com; Cracked.com; Nytimes.com; Engadget.com; these sites may publish stories that diggers love, and if you are one of the 1st to submit something as digg-worthy, then you’re asking for trouble;
9. Don’t IM anybody:
Except for the aforesaid reason; God forbid you start a conversation; you may get befriended, and each time you submit something it will appear on that person’s “Friend’s Activity” page. That will only increase the chance of getting your story dugg.
10. Submit sites for the sole purpose of getting the link from the digg’s submission page:
Submit sites with more Adsense than a link farm; ensure that a message telling them to click here for your free laptop popups up when they click on the url. Try to code some spyware into there, so you test the roi on such a campaign;
11. Abstain from writing any offbeat Top 10, 12, or any numbered lists:
For instance, if you’re selling life insurance don’t author “The 19 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Death*”. Absurd.
12. Troll for the sole sake of trolling:
Yeah, just vent all your frustrations stemming from your failures in the comments section; say how much you hate the story, the submitter, digg; complain on your ex-wife that’s sitting on your $8K Italian leather sofa with the 20 year old gardener and half your assets in her bank account. I have seen users do this and submit 0 stories; even if they did I doubt their stories would get passed the least popular upcoming section.
This is an entry to Marketing Pilgrim’s 3rd Annual SEM Scholarship contest.