Marketing Pilgrim

Things are going from bad to worse between Yahoo and Carl Icahn. In Round 2 of letters this week, Yahoo and Icahn repeat many of the same arguments, but they’re really getting snippy now.

Sigh. I’m getting too tired of the ugliness to try to wade through and pluck out the “good” parts, but here’s the gist of the interchange:

ICAHN: Liar, liar, pants on fire. The employee “retention” plan is a walkout and a poison pill; sell to Microsoft for $34.375/share or I’ll do it myself.

YAHOO: Nuh uh, you’re the liar. Why should we be the ones to come crawling back to them, anyway?

If you want to read the full texts of the letters yourself, don’t say I didn’t warn you. (Oh, and Yahoo’s letter is shorter.)

Before round three starts next week, I’ll add my own letter to the fray.

Dear Yahoo and Mr. Icahn,

We’re all writing letters these days, and that seems to be the only way to communicate with you guys, so I’ll give it a shot. Here we go:

STOP IT.

No, seriously, STOP IT. Neither your letters from earlier in the week nor round two of your missives today has helped anything. It’s quite a while until the August 1 shareholder meeting, and you’re just making the situation uglier and yourselves look even worse. Go to your respective rooms and remember, if you can’t say anything nice, SHUT UP ALREADY.

Love,
Jordan

What would you tell them?