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You Know You Work In Search When You…

By Chelsea Blacker

You know you work in search when you:

1. have more logins than you do pairs of socks.

2. friended Danny Sullivan before you met him.

3. don’t think you’re a Cuttlet.

4. typically have at least 3 different browsers open simultaneously.

5. have considered dating a college student/education professional to get links.

6. grocery shop and think “my average CPC is higher than that apple/steak/wine bottle.”

7. get really excited when your map overlay is light green in a 3rd world country.
namibia

8. look for house numbers 404 and 300 with the same enthusiasm as house 69.

9. receive grammatically incorrect emails form India offering to write you copy.

10. cannot convince your friends you do more than surf the web all day.

11. were disappointed to learn SEO by the Sea is in Virginia.

12. have wondered why SEO Quake bothered with an Explorer version.
seo quake, explorer

13. think Gray Wolf was written by Jack London.

14. won’t shop online without looking at the backlinks first. (@DaveNaylor)

15. see yellow sneakers and can’t help but think of Rand Fishkin.

16. hear the term “women in search” and do a mental check list of sphinn avatars.

17. checked to make sure “c14n” was accurate.

18. have asked someone if Sexy SEO really looks like that.sexyseo

19. cannot watch the Wizard of Oz without the adjectives rust, evil, and green crossing your mind.

20. can’t imagine not ranking first for your name.

21. can’t watch softcore without thinking of the opening credits to White Board Friday.

22. never say “I don’t know” instead you say “just Google it.”

23. are annoyed with weather reporters who blame technology when they’re wrong for things “out of their control”.

24. gave up on Chrome because it doesn’t have decent plugins.

25. know the date your blog received the most traffic & what keywords it ranked for.

26. pondered whether facebook groups or fan pages send more traffic.

27. optimized a bad breakup’s name with the term gay, bitch, or sex offender.

28. covet your collection of free memory sticks from SMX/SES/PubCon.

29. think SPAM stands for any Site Positioned Above Mine.

30. see a search party on the news, and get upset you weren’t invited. (@kevgibbo)

31. know people’s twitter names before you know their full names.

32. you mentally prioritize your shopping list with a “Top 10.”

33. can discuss at least 2 custom 404 error pages you found funny.
error67

34. have had at least one username paused by an admin.

35. praise open source but still picked iPhone over Android.

36. Google a potential love interest before you even get to the first date.

37. plot to get family members over 50 years old social media accounts.

38. introduced yourself in person with “That post/tweet you wrote…”

39. don’t understand why you can’t click on an ad in a magazine to get to the product. (@JudithLewis)

40. notice that in late April, SEO Book theme colours are everywhere.

This is an entry to Marketing Pilgrim’s 4th Annual SEM Scholarship contest.