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How to be a Twitter Guru

posted on February 21, 2011


I had a little “episode” over the weekend.

You see, I finally got sick of seeing the types of tweets that have very little substance, yet seem to be the staple of many so-called “gurus.” Instead of complaining, I decided to have some fun. :-)

In rapid succession, I tweeted what I consider to be the type of tweets that tend to get a lot of attention and elevate someone to guru status. I’m guilty of these now and then, and perhaps you are too, but hopefully you’ll recognize these from some of the people you follow:

Which ones did I miss?


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  • http://demandy.com Mandy

    The douchebag daily is out!. Read it here, with stories by @socialmediajerk @overtweeter and @captainobvious ! Also irrelevant content by @selfpromote and @tweetbot! http://paper.li/douche

    • http://www.marketingpilgrim.com Andy Beal

      LMAO! Nice one Mandy!

      • Adam

        Here is a link to (anything) because I think its important and I think you should think that too!

    • http://www.frankthinking.com Frank Reed

      ROFL! Well struck!

    • http://www.KnDino.com Keri Andino

      That is really funny Andy– I wish I would have thought of it.. You’re great at being Awesome! Keep up the great posts– Keri

      • http://www.marketingpilgrim.com Andy Beal

        Thanks Keri! :-)

  • http://NextInstinct.com Ed Shahzade

    #1 Turn Off: Self-important voice

    #2 Useless, trite quotes

    #3 Hypocrisy

    #4 Cliques who do most of what you tweeted, then call others out for it.
    #4a See #3

  • Adam

    And one for the protester in all of us:

    “Let’s protest about _______________. Pass it on!”

    (share) (retweet) (etc)

    • http://www.marketingpilgrim.com Andy Beal

      You forgot: I’m changing the color of my avatar in protest! ;-)

  • http://ngng.co.il/ NG

    Best. Post. Ever.

  • http://www.arcanasphere.com/ MrAndrewJ

    The circles I run in are also guilty of:

    #FF Follow Friday which are 3-7 rapid fire tweets, all filled with the same names as last week and daisy chained between the people I follow(ed).

    I tried to get them to focus their efforts on #SS Sycophant Saturday, but they weren’t having any of it. So I un-followed them.

    Hey, you could do #MM Marketer Monday! Think of it – 7 tweets with nothing but the names of fellow marketers. Your followers will hate you, guaranteed.

    • http://www.marketingpilgrim.com Andy Beal

      The worst ones are those that RT the tweets that mention them in a #FF. Wow, we are all soooo impressed! ;-)

    • Renee

      LOL! Actually, #MM (marketer monday) would be kind of fun-but I’m also part of a bunch of online marketing groups and we’re also looking for more savvy marketing geeks to share marketing tips with :) Thanks for the suggestion. In the meantime, you also forgot “Message by random bot”

      • http://www.arcanasphere.com/ MrAndrewJ

        In re-reading my original, I apparently forgot to mention they also do

        #SS #ShowbizSaturday
        #MM #MagicianMonday
        #MM #MusicianMonday

        And no doubt more. They’re all the same list as #followfriday. That meant that least 3 days a week became a daily excuse to daisy-chain spam for each other. Truly, this was marketing genius too advanced for me, as I unfollowed the whole lot of them. ;)

  • http://joshuatitsworth.com Josh

    I’ll retweet something someone tweeted about me because you know to know how awesome other people think I am.

  • http://www.toddmintz.com Todd Mintz

    I’m going to make a snide comment critical of Andy to show how really important I am in the Search Marketing industry… :.)

    • http://www.marketingpilgrim.com Andy Beal

      Hah! Yeah, nothing shows how important you are than goading someone into a Twitter fight! ;-)

  • http://www.govisithawaii.com Sheila Beal

    Great post. It was very cathartic to read the post and the comments, too. I’m so glad I’m not the only one rolling my eyes at some of the twitter gurus.

    I’ll add another one — the people who pimp their posts on scheduled tweets, over and over, and sometimes for months after they originally came out. Shut up!!! Stop pimping your crapola over and over again! I probably didn’t even care the first time you pimped it. :-P

  • http://www.grahamjones.co.uk/ Graham Jones

    Great….!

    But the whole notion of a “Twitter guru”…..?

    Did we have “conversation gurus” in pre-twitter days?

    Or were there “conversation marketing consultants”

    Surely if someone is a “guru” of Twitter they know that there is no such thing…..ho hum.

  • http://www.metaphorsandsimiles.com Dave Richardson

    Very funny. There’s some good ideas there. But as on the linked account you’re only following 150 people it could be you’re just putting too much weight into broadcasting and not enough into following better quality people.

    • http://www.marketingpilgrim.com Andy Beal

      I’d argue the opposite. If I followed too many people, then I’d see more of the above. I try to follow just those that are adding true value to my Twitter feed. :-)

    • Pat

      One of the benefits of Twitter for me is following a very broad range of people with different perspectives – especially people I don’t always agree with because I do a lot of political polling and consulting. Twitter keeps me in tune with the culture and more informed about current events than most people I know. Lists solve the dilemna of following too many people. I like to follow everyone that seems reasonable. Being annoyed occasionally is part of the experience. (But -the one that drives me nuts is people that have a daily Twitter orgasm over their Latte at Starbucks.) Great post Andy.

  • Bobbi

    and … 65 people so far RT’d this for You… hmmm. : )

  • Marti

    Well I am definitely not a guru, but I sure would like to intelligently participate. I do tweet articles I find have something new or different to say and sometimes RT articles others tweeted first . Is there something wrong with that? Thanks!

  • http://www.shanejones.co.uk Shane Jones

    Hows about the

    I RT every #ff tactic…

    really annoys me that one.

  • Racha

    with all due respect, twitter is an open sphere, free for everyone to use to their will.
    There are no rules, no guidelines, and nothing to complain about. you don;t like someone’s tweets, just unfollow.
    writing a post about it just proves that you don’t understand the concept of social media.

    • Brad Hill

      >> writing a post about it just proves that you don’t understand the concept of social media.

      Writing a post about it is a way of participating in social media.

      Fun post, Andy.

      • http://www.marketingpilgrim.com Andy Beal

        Thanks Brad!

  • http://www.businesscontinuityuk.net Gareth Howell

    I can see where you are going and of course you are exagerating to make the point; but I do question #3

    One of the big uses of Twitter is to engage with people and to let them know of items that might be interest to them. I do keep tabs on what’s happening in my industry and sometimes I come across something that deserves wider attention than it might otherwise get. Hence, I’ll link to it in a tweet.

    I also did so with this story.

    Also, Sheila deplores pimping of posts. Again, I agree to a certain extent but if my followers are anything like typical, they are located in many time zones. If I have created or found something that might interest them; I’ll tweet it several times according to which timezone they are in. What’s wrong with that?

    As Racha says, there are no rules. If you don’t like what somebody does, unfollow them

  • http://www.designioustimes.com/ Adriana

    :) ) Your tweet examples are so funny Andy! I really haven’t seen these kind of tweets on my twitter, that can only mean that I don’t have twitter gurus on my list :) )

  • http://1rick.com Rick Martin

    The mating call of the twitter douche:

    “Wheels down in [insert airport code]“

  • http://www.eoghan.org.uk Eoghan O’Neill

    I’m nominating @MyAlterEgo for a #Shorty Award, because they have so much credibility and will really help me get my message out

  • http://www.dannystarr.com Danny Starr

    Great post.. one thing that bothers me is when “gurus” feel the need to tell people they are going to be away from Twitter to do work or something…

    Perhaps this comes from the fact that people expect them to be on it all the time but really, as I give a sh*t that somebody I follow and respect is going offline for a bit… please.

    • http://www.marketingpilgrim.com Andy Beal

      Yeah, that bothers me to. “Oh, you’re going to get a bagel and will be offline? We’ll miss you….not!” ;-)

  • http://mcreed.com Matt Reed

    Oh @oprah you were so funny at dinner last night!!! LOL, LMAO, ROFLCOPTER #iknowrichpeople

    Yeah seriously, remember @oprah when you told that story about @justinbieber I couldn’t believe it either #ihaveconversationswithfamouspeople

    @justinbieber I know right biebs? It’s just hair don’t worry bro. Call you later about that mustache idea. #italktojustinbieberallthetimecauseimcoollikethat

  • http://www.dailymauiphoto.com Kris

    I remember seeing that tweet about “sharing a link” from you over the weekend and was scratching my head thinking, “that doesn’t sound like Andy”.

    Good to know the story behind it now.

    • http://www.marketingpilgrim.com Andy Beal

      LOL! Just some fun. ;-)

  • Zohare

    Nicely done. You missed out the one-way tweets that clearly shout “I am an advertisement! DO NOT ENGAGE WITH ME! #hashtagtononsenseoffering”

    This is absolutely amazingly on the spot! I had a tweet-out with Guy Kawasaki once about how he aggregates so much content. Thank God for ghost writers. His tweets are still interesting, even though a little reserch will land me the same sources. Him finding the interesting news saves me the hassle.

    But then there are those “I’m so important and you need to follow me just because…” tweets that really grind my gears (copyright Peter Griffin, Family Guy).

    Quality people, not quantity! Tweeting is losing its purpose.

    On that note, follow me…i’m cool @jjbaybee :D

  • USTommyMC

    Pure genius. Had to favorite every single one for future reference.

  • Antoine Dupin

    I dont read the coms, but you forgot ” I am lunching or I am speaking with @referal-people to show you how I am important” :)

  • http://www.bethsmiller.com Beth Miller

    This was my giggle of the day. I’d love to retweet, but sure don’t want anyone to think I’m in the know and they aren’t. But I’m still laughing.

  • http://www.editormichael.com Michael LaRocca

    I make a big ole pile of money from home on the Internet and you can too. Just be gullible enough to click this link!

  • Hastag mob

    If you really want to have some fun follow @hashtagmob, we are rallying to correct all the # abuse

  • http://www.techinsert.com riju

    nice one… :)

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